Harsh Truths

I am eating as I write this for those of you who will enjoy the irony.

I was reminded today (by a stranger’s comment) that my blog makes me sounds like a spoiled, ungrateful brat. I think if you read my blog closely enough, I mention numerous time what a horrible human being I am. It is as if this comment was supposed to be a revelation for me. The one thing I have always been on this blog is honest. I have told my life story as it is, my feelings as they are. I have painted a picture of who I am even when that picture is gross and disgusting and repulsive and abhorrent. I have not tried to pretend to be a better person when I know I am not. I have not sugar-coated, or glamourized or pretended something other than my reality. I have often been brutally honest about what I am going through, especially my relationship with my boyfriend, and the impact on my ED.

I am that person. I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me. If someone doesn’t like what I have to write or say, they are free not to read my blog. There is nothing on here that I have not already discussed with my boyfriend at length. Obviously, my opinion is from my biased point of view. It always will be. I am me. I am free to be so. If you don’t like me, guess what?…I have never liked me. Your approval is not necessary. Your disapproval is not a surprise.

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9 thoughts on “Harsh Truths

  1. I feel like anyone who’s truly followed your blog knows your heart and knows you’re not an ungrateful brat. ❤

    • I do feel like one at times especially when I am venting about life/work/relationships etc, but at the end of the day I know I am blessed and loved and cared for. I know that this is reality and it is not perfect and I know that in sharing my ED, I have chosen to show the ugliest part of me. Thank you for your comments xx

  2. I wish I was as strong as you!!!

    Well said though!! Why are they reading if they find it so disgusting?!

    Frankly, they clearly have not read much or many posts because frankly I still think you are hard on yourself and are NOT a bad or horrible person!!

    That person will never truly understand the struggles of eating disorders and how much we hate ourselves as is.

    They don’t know you and screw the haters!!! This lady here struggles a lot y’all have NO idea!! So STEP UP!

  3. littlevoicetalks says:

    Wow. I personally have gained comfort through the shared experience. Your blog allows people like me identification and comfort. I do wish you didn’t suffer this terrible illness but in the same breath, your honesty has touched many like me and has provided great awareness to those who don’t suffer and would want to know what ed is about because a loved one may be suffering.

    Your posts are always immediately read by when they appear on my reader xxx

  4. Grainne says:

    Some people are so afraid of who and what they really are that they project it onto others. You are a beautiful soul, sweetheart. That jerk had no idea of what kind of person you really are. Much love from me. xxxxx

    • Thank you for your love. I am aware that I am less than perfect and sometimes down right awful. We all are. I just chose to be honest and to share all of my story, even the ugly parts. I chose to speak my truth even when it showed my flawed character. I am not ashamed. I know I am blessed. I know I have so much growing and learning still to do. I blog the most when I am in turmoil or at my lowest which means that sometimes the bright, shining goodness of my life is not seen. Thank you for seeing the part of me that others can’t. I appreciate your compassion xx

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