ED Assessment Part 2: Family Therapy

I was diagnosed with anorexia binge/purge subtype today.

I was shocked (and it showed). I consider myself bulimic only. The case manager commented on my shock asking why I felt I didn’t meet the criteria for a diagnosis of anorexia. I gave her the “I’m not thin” argument and the “but I do eat” argument.

The case manager delivered the diagnosis in front of my boyfriend. He was required to go to the family part with me. I have been distressed about it for weeks.

He sat next to me and held me hand. I couldn’t look at him. I hung my hair down or hid my face with my hand. The case manager told me it might get uncomfortable when she asked for “delicate” information. There is nothing like admitting to the severity of your ED as your boyfriend sits there only having known very little. It was awful to recount being raped and abused by my ex husband. I had never told him about the sexual abuse.

Afterwards he was confused at how the questions they asked were the same as last time and didn’t really seem to go into us as a couple. I didn’t get to voice my concerns about our situation with the children.

I did get to rehash my childhood. I recalled my father kicking my 2 year old brother around the garden like he was a rugby ball. The tears started then and I stopped them. Had I started crying, I would never have stopped. I tried to detach. I was agitated. The case manager commented on my obvious agitation.

She asked if I felt I had an eating disorder. Yes. She asked if I felt I needed help. No. When she asked why I argued that I wasn’t sick enough and that my ED is manageable. She didn’t buy it.

Afterwards, my boyfriend couldn’t read me. He had come to hold my hand expecting tears and waterworks. He didn’t know why he was there or his role – nothing was directed at him. He is still analyzing it hours later. I love him for it all even though I didn’t want him there.

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12 thoughts on “ED Assessment Part 2: Family Therapy

  1. myquietroar says:

    This sounds really intense, so lovely that your boyfriend was willing to go with you. If the world of therapy is new to him then I can see why he’d be a bit confused- I remember how much I analysed and re-analysed my first session with a counsellor and I was the person who it was focused on, it must be very strange to be there as a part of it but then not to feel like you were. Do you have to go together again? Hopefully it will get easier in time. Well done for being so brave though.

    • Thank you for your lovely comments. I think he is supposed to attend more family therapy with me. I am just ignoring it at the moment! It was a huge thing to go there with him. I think he started to find out a lot he didn’t know.

      • myquietroar says:

        I can’t even imagine- but if you two can make it through this you can make it through anything life throws at you. I hope you’re doing okay.

  2. What was their rationale for the anorexia diagnosis. You must be underweight then. According to them at least. I meet all but the weight requirement which is why I got EDNOS.

    • They took the weight requirement out of the latest DSM as far as I know…she did try to tell me that I am underweight for my height but it is certainly not by much. I think I met more of the criteria for anorexia because I am very restrictive at the moment and I am not bingeing but I am purging “normal” meals. I still don’t think it is right having been bulimic or ednos all my life. I still think anorexic means I have to be scary skinny.

      • What I have learned recently is it is a title to get the insurance companies to pay for the treatment you need. And I know that how they approach bulimia and anorexia are two different approaches.

        Whatever “title” it is, I just hope you get whatever you feel you need out of it, because you deserve the best!

  3. *all the hugs in the world*

  4. time4life58 says:

    This breaks my heart, incredibly difficult to read and intense. Stay strong with eyes lifted. X

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