Data This Week

Meals deliberately missed: 2

Meals purged: 0 (for a total of 3 months purge free) UPDATE: purged tonight…offically ended my 3 month streak just hours after I wrote this.

Days of premediated caloric restriction: 3

Accidental binges: 1

Planned binges: 1

Gym workouts: 4 so far…

Total meltdowns: 1 (crying naked in the bathroom in the middle of the night)

Partial meltdowns: 2.5

Number of migraines: 6

Longest lasting migraine: 3 days without any respite

Days since last hospital visit: 17

Weeks left til trip home: 13

Anxiety level: please send Valium

Glasses Bottles of wine: too many

Months since I moved in with my boyfriend: 2

Number of days period is late: 1*

*(I did just have my IUD removed a couple of weeks ago and am waiting for things to “normalize” whilst trying to avoid any unplanned babies.)

Triggering comments from this week: “Why don’t you go have a nap and then you won’t eat anymore?” “She loves food…she is a woman after your own heart.” “You had 3 carrots and a banana for lunch? Watch out you don’t get fat.”

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8 thoughts on “Data This Week

  1. littlevoicetalks says:

    Meals missed: 4
    Purging episodes: 2
    Alcohol units: 0
    Weeks til holiday: 3
    AA/OA meetings attended: 7
    Days away from Barty: 7
    Total meltdowns: 1
    Partial meltdowns: 3
    Spending money on things i do not need: 12
    No. of times carpets vacuumed: 14!!
    Number of apples eaten 7: love ’em
    Cups of tea consumed (conservative guess: 2,000,000
    Days moaning about my aching muscles: 7
    Days listening to other people moaning about their aching muscles: 7
    Days caring about other people’s aching muscles: 0

    A productive week.

    Big standing ovation for your days purge free. That’s amazing. I’m inspired xxx

    This post made me giggle, it’s how my mind works all day long LOL xx

  2. Grainne says:

    Oh my…that last point is zinger. I hope everything there turns out the way you want it to.

  3. Excuse the language, but I am so fucking proud of you! You may slip, but don’t slide. Do the next right thing, don’t let it snowball. For like three months, I find that freaking amazing. You are doing great. Your body is biologically wired to return to what you know during stressful times. I am so happy for you!

    -Trust the Process!

  4. G says:

    Hi, I really appreciate you sharing your journey and struggles with us. I wish you the best of luck in your road to recovery.
    I am just curious as to what sort of support from friends/family or the community you would be grateful to receive during these times and in your opinion, how you think such a phenomenon could potentially be curbed?
    If you could share with me some of your thoughts, it would be deeply appreciated. All the best.

    • I could share many of my thoughts, but they are mostly ramblings. I am not looking for support really. I am looking to remain in my moderately disordered ways, trying not to sink too low whilst still functioning. I have 2 girlfriends who understand that I can be 100% honest with if I need the outlet. They don’t encourage the ED, but they suffer themselves so they know. My family live far away and I don’t want them to know. I have caused enough hurt and pain there that will haunt me as long as I live. As for my boyfriend, he knows only as much as I let on and I hide everything that I need to keep from him. I only wish I could tell him all the things that trigger me…the words he says, the things he does, the complications that he has brought to my life. He loves me. What more can I ask of him? It is enough, for the most part.

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