“Let’s stop for gelato,” he says on the way home. “Do you like gelato?”
I don’t know how to tell him that I love any food as long as I can purge it. I realize that couples go for ice cream, or dinner or order pizza on a Saturday night. I have done all these things many times as long as I can get rid of the food after. So far, I have been too scared to try and purge at his house. Also, I haven’t been eating much so it hasn’t been necessary. I worry as the weeks go by that our time together will revolve around meals and he will start to see that no matter what excuse I make, I am not eating.
We sat in the sun with our gelato and watched the river meandering by. He took my hand and suggested we go on a road trip to see the friends who introduced us 8 years ago. “Maybe the first week of September if you still like me by then,” he suggests.
I tell him it will never be a case of me not liking him. I explain that it is an inevitable eventuality that he will stop liking me. I cannot add that before our first date, I made a vow not to fall in love with him whatever happens.