BBQ With Friends

2 plates of quinoa kale salad

1 veggie burger (no bun)

1/2 a wheel of brie

12 crackers

6 strawberries

3 glasses of red wine

3 bowls of potato salad

1 brownie

1 chocolate square

1 piece of apple crumble

1 piece of rhubarb pie

2 scoops of ice cream

1 epic purging session

Please stop inviting me to your BBQs. They are bad for my health.


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8 thoughts on “BBQ With Friends

  1. eherman113 says:

    Your body is telling you to eat that food! It needs the nourishment. Listen to it, and don’t feel bad.

  2. One day won’t ruin everything, just do your best to eat better tomorrow. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s possible. I don’t even know you and I believe in you. You will be okay because you’re strong enough to talk about it.

  3. K says:

    There was a time that I would avoid social events because I didn’t want to be caught in situations where I was tempted to eat. I would purposely meet my friends after they went for dinner or suggest meeting later in the night when it wasn’t mealtime.

    But when I was really restricting, I wouldn’t go out at all. Yes, I was lonely. But I would rather be lonely and skinny than miserable and fat 😦

    Now unfortunately I cannot turn down social events because a lot are held by the other residents in my department and I need to show that I am making an effort to meet everyone and that I am a team player. And because of this, I am so goddamn fat 😦

    Thinking of you,

    • Thinking of you too, hun. it sounds like you are not doing well. Please send me an update. I’m here if you need a chat. xx

      • K says:

        Hello Dear,

        I just read about your surgery. I’m so sorry that you were so stressed about it. I can’t believe they didn’t give you any Valium or a Percocet before! I know it was traumatic for you but please remember that in the end you pulled through and everything was ok. As a physician it makes me so sad when patients are scared of surgery or procedures that will benefit them.

        How are you recovering? I hope they gave you some good pain meds? When I had a stress fracture and when I had my surgery I also couldn’t exercise for a while and it was so painful! But this is rest that your body needs and deserves 🙂 If you don’t mind going into it, do you know what kind of procedure they did and what they were correcting? I am very intrigued.

        Thank you for asking about me even though you’re going through a difficult time, and I am sorry that I will be unloading here. I am not doing well at all. I don’t want to be alive right now. For the majority of this weekend I have literally had trouble breathing because I am so bloated from bingeing. I have 3 puke bags in my apartment that need to go out into the trash. I am so painfully lonely and so confused as to why MT stopped liking me and why he hasn’t contacted me. I feel disconnected from my med school friends since the majority of them moved away, and disconnected from my close friends at home. And disconnected from myself. I hate myself.

        The only thing that is keeping me going right now is the fact that one of my new friends from residency has Vicodin and Percocet at home and has promised me some. J, I am a mess. I have nothing in my life that makes me happy and nothing to look forward to. I don’t want to live right now.

      • Dear K,

        I am very worried about you. I am worried that you do not want to live right now. I have to ask if you think you are at risk of hurting yourself or suicide? If so, is there someone you can call or somewhere you can go? Is there a distress helpline even that you can call? Please let me know if you will be able to do that. I do not want you to be alone with the feeling of not wanting to be alive. It is a dangerous place to be.

        I am also sorry about MT. It sounds debilitating and confusing and hurtful. I hope that you will, in time, find the strength to move on from him to find someone who deserves you and who cherishes you the way you should be.

        It sounds like you have been through a lot of life change lately and that can be very stressful even when it is supposed to be good change. I think it is hard to let go and move on even if it is the natural course of things. I find change gives me a sense of loss of control and anxiety…do you feel that way too? It often makes me feel empty or bereft like I have lost something. Can you go to therapy and talk to someone about this?

        Thank you for your concern over my surgery. They removed a cyst (unconfirmed ganglion) which had wrapped around a tendon in my foot. He cut open the top of my foot between 1st and 2nd metatarsals. It caused pain and interfered with my ballet. Unfortunately he couldn’t give me anti anxiety meds during the procedure either it was against the rules of that hospital. I would have had to have waited until the fall to get sedation surgery. I guess there is no good time to have foot surgery when you are a dancer.

        At the moment the narcotic pain killers are not working and I have taken too many of them too close together. I am nauseous and shaking and my heart is beating too fast. I feel horrible.

        Please, please stay in touch and let me know if I can help you in any way. Sending lots of love your way.


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