These are not “before and after” photos. I took these photos of myself this morning in two different mirrors. The first one is the mirror I bought yesterday to help my weight loss. The second one is my roommates mirror. I put them side by side, completely upright, in the same light and snapped away.
What a mind f**k! I never post photos of myself or stats on my hideous body on this blog, especially because (as you can see by the photos) I have gained so much weight lately and can’t cope with how I look. I had to post these. I don’t know which one is me. I hope to God the first mirror is not right. I am huge, fat, ugly etc, but my new mirror is definitely a “fat” mirror. Anyone with ED knows a “fat” mirror, because we scrutinize ourselves daily in as many mirrors as we come into contact with.
What is upsetting me is that now I don’t know if the second mirror is correct or not. I have been borrowing it for the last 6 months from my roommate as I have not had a full length mirror since I moved. I thought getting one would give me motivation to keep track of my ballooning body and lose weight again.
I am not sure what this mirror is going to do to me except perhaps, kill me. I know ED sufferers are supposed to have BDD and not be able to tell what their body actually looks like. Mine actually looks like one of those. Both are hideous but, which one is telling the truth?
PS: I am severely embarrassed by how fat I am in both of these photos. Now I wish I had posted my thin shots on this blog! Sorry for the barf inducing visual.