Scales and Doctors Visits

Scales and Doctor's Visits

Scales. They make ED tremble. It is like seeing Satan when I look at one of these things. Some days I would rather do battle with demons and dragons than step foot on a scale.

Tomorrow I am going to the doctor for a physical. I will have to be weighed and it is causing me (more) anxiety. The nurse always weighs me backwards and never tells me the number but, I still panic. How much? The answer will forever be “too much”. Am I up or down since my last physical? I don’t want to know even though I do because I know the results will devastate me. Of course to add insult to injury, it is a few days before my period where I bloat and retain water in ridiculous amounts.

I have refused to weigh myself lately for a number of reasons:
1. I’m in denial about how much I weigh
2. I am trying to be recovered and it sends me spiralling
3. It is a very depressing way to start each day with your mood and actions being dictated by three little numbers. (Yes, I said three because the last time I weighed in at only double digits, I was probably ten…..maybe eight.)

So, tonight I have purged in preparation for my weigh in tomorrow. I have done ballet and yoga and still feel infinitely too fat. Wish me luck. I have lunch with friends after the physical and I am envisaging egg whites and salad!

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4 thoughts on “Scales and Doctors Visits

  1. jemicdre says:

    Good luck tomorrow! Try not to stress too much!
    I know at 9 I was 110. Last time I was skinny I was like 6 or 7.

  2. Xanthic says:

    I rarely weigh myself any more, if it helps. Denial is a powerful thing.

    Oh, and I was probably DEFINITELY over double-digits in lbs when I was a child – overweight and I’m 5’8″. You’re not alone!

  3. iamthewalkingdead87 says:

    Best of luck. this is why i have avoided thw doctor for four years since ip

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