My health kick lasted approximately 36 hours. Today I woke up, ate the same high protein foods as yesterday and went to work where I danced for 3 hours and did 1.5 hours of hot yoga. My day was going well but I had this heavy, fat feeling. My stomach was bloated and I hated the sight of myself in the studio mirrors.
I came home binged, purged and threw back a handful of laxatives. I plan to get back on my diet of safe foods tomorrow, but I recognize this pattern of healthy eating all day and puking all night. It is ominously familiar. I want it to go away. I also want to be thin, thinner, thinnest.