In the last few days I have been trying to bump up my (vegetarian) protein intake. I feel like my poor muscle tone and lack of energy might be related to not having enough protein. I think it goes without saying that ED affects both those things anyway. I had hoped that having more protein in my diet might prevent my extreme hunger which leads to deadly binges.
Here is what I ate today:
Breakfast: vegan protein powder in quinoa milk, grapes
Snack: carrots and cottage cheese
Lunch: quinoa with tomato, cucumber, onion and avocado
Snack: tempeh, savi seeds
Dinner: Steel cut oats, cinnamon, peanut butter, honey
This was a lot of food/calories for me for a day because lately I have been restricting and purging or abusing laxatives. Who knows what caused the sudden health kick….I am too tired to question ED. I did do three hours of ballet class (dancing not teaching), but the time in front of the mirror did not help my hatred of my body.
Work was stressful. There was more drama in a long line of many dramatic episodes. I did the best thing I could and left although I was almost certain I was going to go home and binge, but today turned out to be a kind of orthorexic day instead. I went to the health food store and dropped an obscene amount of money on some healthy foods.
Here is a list of some of the things I bought:
- green tea powder (matcha)
- goji berries
- hemp hearts
- chia seeds
- coconut oil (for my hair)
- coconut yogurt (no dairy, no soy!)
- organic dark chocolate
- assorted veggies
- egg whites (I mostly have vegan protein in my diet but sometimes have dairy)
And of course more of my new ‘safe’ foods (although peanut butter is bad because I like to binge on it):
- quinoa milk (more protein than almond or rice milk, not as controversial as soy)
- peanut butter
- savi seeds (Sacha Inchi Seeds…..incredible! If you haven’t tried them, you must)
- vegan protein powder (I like the Vega brand)
I came home and stocked my cupboards with my hippie, vegetarian food; made a sensible meal; caught up on some work and most importantly didn’t binge. For some reason I was able to justify the calories.
Do any of you vacillate between extreme ED and “healthy” eating? Please share your thoughts or your favourite foods!