In the last few days I have been trying to bump up my (vegetarian) protein intake. I feel like my poor muscle tone and lack of energy might be related to not having enough protein. I think it goes without saying that ED affects both those things anyway. I had hoped that having more protein in my diet might prevent my extreme hunger which leads to deadly binges.

Here is what I ate today:
Breakfast: vegan protein powder in quinoa milk, grapes
Snack: carrots and cottage cheese
Lunch: quinoa with tomato, cucumber, onion and avocado
Snack: tempeh, savi seeds
Dinner: Steel cut oats, cinnamon, peanut butter, honey

This was a lot of food/calories for me for a day because lately I have been restricting and purging or abusing laxatives. Who knows what caused the sudden health kick….I am too tired to question ED. I did do three hours of ballet class (dancing not teaching), but the time in front of the mirror did not help my hatred of my body.

Work was stressful. There was more drama in a long line of many dramatic episodes. I did the best thing I could and left although I was almost certain I was going to go home and binge, but today turned out to be a kind of orthorexic day instead. I went to the health food store and dropped an obscene amount of money on some healthy foods.

Here is a list of some of the things I bought:

  • green tea powder (matcha)
  • goji berries
  • hemp hearts
  • chia seeds
  • coconut oil (for my hair)
  • mustard
  • coconut yogurt (no dairy, no soy!)
  • ginger
  • organic dark chocolate
  • assorted veggies
  • egg whites (I mostly have vegan protein in my diet but sometimes have dairy)
  • hummus

And of course more of my new ‘safe’ foods (although peanut butter is bad because I like to binge on it):

  • quinoa milk (more protein than almond or rice milk, not as controversial as soy)
  • tempeh
  • quinoa
  • honey
  • peanut butter
  • savi seeds (Sacha Inchi Seeds…..incredible! If you haven’t tried them, you must)
  • vegan protein powder (I like the Vega brand)

I came home and stocked my cupboards with my hippie, vegetarian food; made a sensible meal; caught up on some work and most importantly didn’t binge. For some reason I was able to justify the calories.

Do any of you vacillate between extreme ED and “healthy” eating? Please share your thoughts or your favourite foods!

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4 thoughts on “Protein

  1. Melia says:

    So proud of you, FB!!! I am convinced the more energy you put into your body, the better you will end up feeling. I am on a sudden health kick of my own (how strange it’s at the same time!) due to the water retention from lax abuse. My fridge had been empty for over a month, but due to how awful I was feeling I am determined to stop using laxatives and end the starvation/binge cycle. I bought a lot of clean foods… an abundance of fruit/veg, low fat cheese and fat free milk and cottage cheese, whole wheat rice and oats, and lean proteins. Growing up I learned how to eat healthy, so this is nothing new to me now… the only thing that stands in my way is the urge to eat everything in my fridge! I have little willpower when it’s right in front of me, yet if my kitchen was food-free I could starve for days. I didn’t purge last night so I feel REALLY uncomfortable, but I am waiting it out…. And funny enough, my plan looks a lot like yours (besides not being vegetarian although I used to be)… I’m trying to eat a good balance of lean protein/natural carbs/healthy fats at every meal.

    I ate a bit too much around dinnertime but I justified it with the fact that it was not my usual pint of ice cream and box of cookies…

    Keep us updated!!!!! πŸ™‚


    • M,
      Wow..great timing on the health kick! I too am scared to put food in my fridge (even the healthy stuff), in case I eat all of it in one sitting. I think of all the people in the world who know how to eat well it would be ED sufferers. We just know such an abundance of nutritional information but for some reason once ED takes over…..sigh….

      Anyway, I wish you well and well done for getting off the laxatives! That is always such a dangerous spiral. I haven’t taken any since last week and the bloating is gradually going away. I will keep you updated and hope you can keep me updated too!

      Be kind to yourself,

  2. I just adore these foodie posts because they are normalizing and fun and inspiring! I’ve never had quinoa milk before… what does it taste like? I love that you did this healthy thing for yourself. It is strange how unhealthy we could be, but there are these lovely moments of self-care and GOOD FOOD that, I feel, do wonders for my psyche. And there’s something so satisfying about putting away good groceries. I feel like a squirrel putting away acorns; it makes me happy!! Hope you’re doing well today πŸ™‚

    • I did ok today. I ate the same healthy foods as yesterday plus did 3 hours of ballet and 1.5 hours of hot yoga. Then I came home and binged for dinner….and purged…and took laxatives. I haven’t binged for 6 days so it was due. But, I plan to continue with the high protein health kick tomorrow! Hope you are doing well too! πŸ™‚

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