I rolled out of bed this morning. I had to roll because I had eaten an entire large pizza last night and DID NOT purge. I had an emotional upset (EU) – involving a man – what’s new? So in all my wisdom at midnight I had pizza sent to my hotel room after eating a whole bag of trail mix. I wolfed it down and then decided that I would be just as fat today whether I purged or not.
I am terrified of the damage I have done. I am terrified of my lapse in habit. I always, always purge.
So now that I have confessed my sins, I am on penance (liquid fasting) for the next two days to make up for it. I am disgusted with myself and by the fat freak staring back at me in the mirror. I don’t recognize her. I refuse to be her.