Confessions and Penance

Confessions and Penance

I rolled out of bed this morning. I had to roll because I had eaten an entire large pizza last night and DID NOT purge. I had an emotional upset (EU) – involving a man – what’s new? So in all my wisdom at midnight I had pizza sent to my hotel room after eating a whole bag of trail mix. I wolfed it down and then decided that I would be just as fat today whether I purged or not.

I am terrified of the damage I have done. I am terrified of my lapse in habit. I always, always purge.

So now that I have confessed my sins, I am on penance (liquid fasting) for the next two days to make up for it. I am disgusted with myself and by the fat freak staring back at me in the mirror. I don’t recognize her. I refuse to be her.

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5 thoughts on “Confessions and Penance

  1. Been there, many times.
    I love you. Thanks for the notes.

  2. lilavanhoe says:

    Ah, this hits close to home. Your writing is engaging and witty …. glad I happened upon your blog!

  3. mirrorgirl says:

    Hey! Sorry about the heart- trouble, it’s terrible at its most hurtful. About the food: accepting that you will lapse by eating too much, will make it easier to not do that, in the future:)
    This article is about smoking, but the same principle also applies to other impulse-related problems : http://m.everydayhealth.com/stop-smoking/lapse-while-quitting-smoking

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