Survival Mode


I spent the weekend away for work on ballet auditions. I looked at my grotesque legs in tights as I was teaching class and wondered how it was possible to be this big despite all the starving/bingeing/purging/exercising that I engage in. I spent the night throwing up in my hotel room and now I am in the airport binge eating.
Here is what I have eaten so far while I wait for my delayed flight:
  • 1 listless spinach salad
  • matcha latte (skim milk, no syrup)
  • oat bar
  • 2 cheese strings
  • 1 apple
  • 1 organic macro bar
  • 1 greek yogurt
  • another matcha latte
  • another oat bar
  • a sandwich

I am bored, frustrated, hungry and tired. I am contemplating what to eat next. I have the next ten days off work and I am wondering whether I will use them to get myself out of this funk or not. I am merely surviving from one day to the next right now and it is not enough. I however, have had enough of this body that won’t co-operate.

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